Stupid Act
by CrimsonHeartFairy
Summary: Because sometimes it was much better and easier to pretended stupid or dumb when you are dealing with many things in life. collection of one shot about luffy whether he pretended to act stupid or just plainly stupid. Pairing : Luffy X everyone, Nakamaship.
1. Ace and Tattoo

Warning : bad grammar and vocabularies. I am not expert in english and it isn't my first language. So, feel free to tell me if there are things that wrong or need to be improved

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece

Note : Thanks for the reviews. I really appreciated those.

Ace: 14 years.

Luffy: 11 years

* * *

**Chapter 1: Ace and Tattoo**

When Ace turned to 14 years old. He decided to have a tattoo. A cool tattoo. He had though so many option of a tattoo. He though so many options like a dragon tattoo, a skull, a snake but at last he though simple was the best. So he decided to make a tattoo with his name on it.

The next morning Ace decided to go to the tattoo shop. On his way, he though he heard a strange noise coming from the bushes near him. Proving his suspicion he turned to the spot and finding his suspicion correct as he notice a straw hat peeked out from the bushes.

Ace sighed. His little brother was suck when it came to hide and seek. Deciding what to do, he finally walked toward the bushes, poked the straw hat and pulled Luffy out ignoring his yelp.

"Luffy, didn't I tell you to stay home." Ace scolded his idiotic little brother as he narrowed his eyes angrily at him.

"But, it is boring when you are not around." The little brother of him sulked and pouted.

Ace sighed in respond, he twitched a bit when he saw the pleading look Luffy gave him. His little brother was like a kid sometimes but he knew it was what made him the way he was "Alright then, you can come with me"

Luffy face brightened hearing the reply of his big brother. He opened his mouth to say something but got interrupted by Ace

"But you have to promise not to cause trouble" said Ace with a little doubt because the word Luffy and trouble couldn't be separated with each other.

"Aye. Sir" Luffy answered with a bright smile not noticing the worried look on Ace face that directed to him.

* * *

At the tattoo shop Ace asked the tattoo maker to tattoo his left arm with his own name. The tattoo maker was a man around middle age with a long moustache in his face.

"What's your name sir?" the tattoo maker asked Ace politely before Ace could answer that question Luffy had already shouted loudly

"ACE" the tattoo maker and Ace simultaneously looked at Luffy who was sitting in the chair near them smiling widely. He kept looking around and muttering "cool" every time he looked at things he considered interesting. His eyes sparkled with excitement and he couldn't stop grinning. The other customers precisely woman who was in there squealed and muttered how cute or adorable he was and some of them even tried to hug him

Ace rolled his eyes, mumbling about how woman couldn't stand cute things. While the tattoo maker eyed Luffy enviously.

The tattoo maker then started to work. He would sometimes made conversation with Ace during his work or occasionally shouted to Luffy to not touch his work tools.

Halfway, Ace yawned. He felt sleepy. His eyes began to feel heavier. His eyes scanned the room and he found Luffy who was busy making an airplane from the newspaper.

"Luffy" Ace called his little brother.

Hearing his name Luffy looked up at Ace. He tilted his head then smiled while holding a paper plane in his both hands

Ace couldn't hold his smile his brother was so damn cute. He muttered in his mind.

"Can you watch him work, so he didn't spell my names wrong?"Ace pointed at the tattoo maker who ignored him and continued his work.

Luffy grinned and nodded enthusiasm. Feeling a bit relieved Ace soon drifted to sleep.

A few minutes later the tattoo maker got a little confused about how Ace name spelled _"is it Ice, Ase, or Ace"_ the tattoo maker wondered confusedly

He glanced at his customer who was now sleeping with a loud snore. He couldn't ask him so what would he do now. The tattoo maker felt confused but then remembered about his customer request to his brother_." Ah, I can ask his brother" _the tattoo maker though happily. He searched for Luffy and found him curled up like a cat in the corner.

"Hey kid, how did you spell your brother's name, A-S-E or A-C-E?" The tattoo maker kindly asked.

Luffy glanced at him a bit. His eyes felt sleepy. He couldn't hear the word clearly. "Hmm?" He mumbled softly then he looked at the tattoo maker with a confused face.

"I asked about your brother name, is it Ase or Ace?" The man repeated his question.

Luffy mind stopped to work he was tired and he just wanted to sleep. He figured the man asked him to choice about something. But he didn't hear it clearly. Too tired to ask again. Luffy answered lazily "Mmm, both?" He answered half heartily soon drifted back to sleep.

_What did he mean by that? _The tattoo maker raised his eyebrow at the confusing answer. He wanted to ask his customer little brother once again but he found him already asleep.

_"Both. Ase and Ace?_" the tattoo maker thought hard trying to figured out what Luffy means by "both"

"Ah I know" he suddenly smiled as his face brightened.

So that was how his name was spelled. What a weird name though. Without thinking the tattoo maker continued his work.

After one hour he finished his job. He wanted to tell his customer that the tattoo had already done but seeing he slept soundly he decided to wait a little. He left a note saying he would go out a bit and would come back soon.

A few minutes later. Luffy woke up. He rubbed his sleeping eyes. He saw Ace still sleeping but he didn't find the tattoo maker anywhere. Luffy looked at the note in the table and read it aloud. After that he looked at Ace. He wanted to see his new cool tattoo. Luffy grinned but after he saw the tattoo in Ace's left arm his jaw dropped.

"Holly fucking shit. Ace was going to kill me". Luffy shouted in his mind. The tattoo in Ace arm wasn't spelled A-C-E but instead it spelled A-S-C-E. Luffy face became pale. He was running around panicked but he accidentally tripped and fell over Ace making him awake.

"LUFFY, WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE DOING? Ace shouted angrily at the fact his little nap got interrupted. He shoved his idiotic brother from him then He looked around and realized that the tattoo maker was gone. So, it was only him and Luffy here. He found a note near him and read it. He grinned a bit after knowing his new tattoo was finished.

"So, my tattoo had done already." Ace smirked. He stood in front of mirror to see his new tattoo.

Seeing that, Luffy gulped hard as he slowly walked towards the door intending to run away but unluckily the door was unlocked and most likely the key was in the tattoo maker hand.

Because of this now Luffy had to think a good reason or he would likely got killed by Ace. If he said to Ace he felt asleep then Ace would be angrily because Luffy didn't keep his promise. So he had to think a better reason.

While Luffy mind went panicked Ace was busy looking at his tattoo. He frowned at his reflection then his expression changed as his face darkened. He looked at his new tattoo not believing what he had just said.

He turned around to Luffy glaring at him. "Luffy, didn't I tell you to watch the tattoo maker?" Ace asked with intimidated aura

Hearing the scary tone in his brother voice Luffy gulped as he went silent but suddenly he though a brilliant idea.

Looking up at his angry brother, Luffy put his best innocent face then He made a puppy eyes that he knew Ace couldn't resist when he wanted something. He tilted his head and smiling widely as if there was nothing wrong "Eh isn't Ace name spelled A-S-C-E ?" Luffy asked pretended to be confused of his brother's reaction to his new tattoo.

Ace went silent as he stared at his brother for a while then he sighed. He cursed and mumbled about a stupid and naïve little brother and a stupid tattoo maker.

* * *

When the tattoo maker came back he didn't expect he would be welcomed by a scary death glare and an angry Ace who yelled at him to fix his tattoo for free. The tattoo maker tried hard to defend himself by explaining the detail of what happened. He explained that he asked his customer's little brother but he got confused of his answer and when he wanted to ask once again Luffy had already asleep.

Luffy titled his head cutely once again looking confused. "When was that happen?" he asked with an innocent face that made the tattoo maker got flustered and panicked.

Ace stared at both of them. He looked at Luffy then the tattoo maker and then to Luffy again. He crossed his arms and made a face like he was judging about something.

The tattoo maker opened his mouth once again tried to defend himself but stopped as soon as he sensed the dangerous aura surrounded him. He saw the deathly glare that Ace directed to him. The tattoo maker shuddered in fear.

"Maybe I can give you a 100% discount then" The tattoo maker laughed weakly. Ace nodded slightly still felling a bit pissed. Behind him, Luffy smirked full of victory

* * *

**Please read and review :)**


	2. Bubble Gum

Warning: bad grammar and vocabularies. I am not expert in English and it isn't my first language. So, feel free to tell me if there are things that wrong or need to be improved

Disclaimer**:** I do not own One Piece

Note: Thanks for the reviews. I really appreciated those.

* * *

**Chapter 2: Bubble Gum**

It was just an ordinary day at thousand sunny. Usopp was busy making a new weapon in the deck when he heard Luffy screamed loudly. He looked up and saw Luffy running around panicked with a horrified look in his face like he was afraid of something. Usopp looked at the weird scene in front of him.

Usopp had already seen many expressions in Luffy's face during his journey with the crew. But even so he rarely saw Luffy face showed a horrified expression. Usopp knew the reason was, because Luffy was hardly afraid of anything. Either it was a scary looking monster, ghost, an afro skeleton or something terrifying powerful looking man. Luffy wasn't afraid instead he showed too much excitement much to Usopp dismay.

Usopp remembered the time Luffy showed that kind of face was when Nami was sick and when they fought against Kuma. Usopp smiled bitterly at this memory. Usopp always knew that Luffy always afraid of the fact losing his precious nakama. So Usopp wondered what made the rubber-man showed that kind of expression today.

He glanced around him but he didn't seem find the cause of it. Usopp turned his attention back at Luffy who was still running around mumbled something that Usopp couldn't hear well. Just when he wanted to asked Luffy what's wrong with him. A figure of a well-built man approached him from behind and let out a deep grunt indicated he just woke up from sleep.

"What's wrong with him" Zoro growled. A bit annoyed and pissed with Luffy's weird antics.

"He just saw me earlier and suddenly he started to scream and running" the green haired swordsman continued talking with annoyance.

The confused sharpshooter stared at Zoro and opened his mouth wanting to reply that he didn't know reason of Luffy weird act either but Usopp stopped as soon he realized that Zoro was kind of chewing something in his mouth.

"Hey, Zoro. Is that food you are eating?" Usopp raised his eyebrow at the swordsman. A flash image of an angry blond haired cook appeared on his head before he continued his talk "Sanji is not going to happy if he found out you eat his food before dinner'' Usopp frowned reminding Zoro.

"What? This" Zoro pointed at his mouth then he reached into his pocket and picked out something "This is just an interesting thing I bought at the previous island. Sort of candy I think". He explained as he showed Usopp a small package with colourful wrapper. "Beside who cares if that shitty cook will angry or not" Zoro answered lazily

"I heard that stupid marimo" a loud shout came out from the kitchen making Zoro twitched and muttered about a stupid cook. In respond in an angry cook stormed from the kitchen with a full power kick aimed at the swordsman face thus lead to their usual fighting routine

Usopp just shrugged off their fight and instead he picked up the things Zoro showed to him just now as it was now lying on the ground.

He inspected it carefully. Looking at the words written on it Usopp raised his eyebrow. No wonder Luffy screamed seeing this thing.

He looked at his captain who was still running around and then he looked back at the thing that made Luffy screamed which had the words of bubble gum on its cover. Usopp glanced at Zoro who was now making a bubble from his mouth despite his fighting with Sanji. Usopp sighed maybe he should tell one or two-story to made Luffy calm down.

In the deck Luffy was still running around, blabbering about a rubber-eating monster.

* * *

**End of chapter 2**

**Please read and review**


	3. Sarcasm

Warning: bad grammar and vocabularies. I am not expert in English and it isn't my first language. So, feel free to tell me if there are things that wrong or need to be improved

Disclaimer**:** I do not own One Piece

Note: Thanks for the reviews. I really appreciated those.

* * *

**Chapter 3: Sarcasm**

Zoro was sleeping in the deck having his usual nap time. Lying down on the deck comfortably He snored loudly. All of sudden he felt like something poked his cheek. Deciding to ignore it, he didn't do anything instead he shifted his body and rolled to the other side. Thinking that the intruder who disturbed his nap had already gone, he drifted back to his sleep once again.

Zoro ear twitched when he felt someone blew the air to his left ear. A few seconds later, someone yelled his name in his left ear loudly making him jerked up from his sleep, feeling a bit startled from the loud sound he had just heard. He touched his left ear, and rubbing it slightly then he turned to his so-called intruder. Although, he had already guessed who it was. He glared and looked pissed at his so-called captain who was grinning at him without any expression of guilt showing in face after what he did to his nap time.

"Zoro, what are you doing?" Luffy asked with a curious tone.

Hearing this question, Zoro groaned. Can he see that he was just disturbed his precious nap.

"Me? Oh. I was just trained while lying down and closed my eyes, so next time I can fight with eyes closed. Or even shooting a laser beam from my eyes." He responded sarcastically though didn't quite expect Luffy to react like he did this time.

"Really? That's so cool." Luffy commented with a fascinated eyes. The look in his eyes was the same as when he saw the gaon canon for the first time.

Seeing his captain's reaction. Zoro sweet dropped. "No, Luffy. That was only sarcasm." He explained shortly.

"Huh, salkam? What's that? A new type of food? "Luffy asked with drools coming from his mouth.

Rolling his eyes at his now drooling captain he sighed to himself. Now, how should he explained it so a brainless guy like Luffy could understand it?

"It's not a salkam. It's sarcasm."

"Oh. I see." Luffy nodded his head. Seeing that Zoro felt a bit relief. At least he didn't have to explain it all to Luffy.

_I guess it better to sleep now_. He yawned and leaned to the rails ready to sleep again.

"So, What's that?" Luffy tilted his head confused with the sudden new word.

This time Zoro hit his head at the rail. So much for a nap. He rolled his eyes rubbing his head. Deciding to make it fast he stared at Luffy and spoke to him

"Well, sarcasm is ...well you could say it as a lie." Zoro answered, picking his words carefully.

"That was a lie" Luffy pouted feeling a bit disappointed "So, Zoro can't shoot laser beam?"

"No" He replied fast. _If_ _I had it, I will shoot you already_. He muttered on his mind dangerously.

"Lying isn't good" Luffy said accusingly at Zoro, Pointing his finger at him.

Zoro looked at him with irritation. He didn't like to be lectured by someone who was more stupid that him. "It' isn't exactly lie. Sarcasm is a lie in a funny way." he answered carelessly. As long as Luffy Left him alone he didn't care anymore if his answer didn't even makes any sense.

"Eh?"Luffy blinked, not understanding what Zoro had just said.

"I mean, it was like a joke" Zoro replied without thinking much.

Luffy smiled widely hearing the answer, nodding his head. He looked at Zoro and said his conclusion with a confident smile "So it's a mysterious word?"

...

...

* * *

Luffy walked on the deck with pout on his face "Zoro was so mean." he mumbled quietly. He had been smacked earlier by Zoro right in his head then he yelled at him to play somewhere else. Luffy got confused at Zoro action. He didn't do anything bad at him, did he?

Walking with a bored expression on the deck he soon saw Chopper and Usopp. His face showed a huge grin as He ran towards them, shouting their name loudly. "USOPP, CHOPPER LET'S PLAY."

Usopp and Chopper looked up simultaneous to Luffy. Usopp replied first by shaking his head and pointed at things sprawled on the deck "Sorry. I can't. I am making my new awesome weapon." Hearing his rejection Luffy turned to Chopper.

"Sorry, Luffy. I am making a new medicine." Chopper said apologetically. Luffy face soon changed to a disappointed one. Seeing his disappointed look, Usopp made a suggestion. "Why don't you go to Sanji? I think he had already started to prepare dinner." Usopp spoke though he knew that Sanji would most likely just scream and threw Luffy out from disturbing his cooking. Well, at least it could make Luffy distracted for a while. Usopp shrugged it off.

"Really?" Luffy face changed fast hearing the word dinner. He mouthed thanks to Usopp and dashed to the kitchen. He slammed the kitchen's door resulting a loud sound that made a blond haired cook inside felt pissed at his unwelcomed guest.

Luffy found Sanji was chopping meat with a kitchen knife. He drooled imagining what he would have for dinner later.

"Sanji, I WANT MEAT." Luffy asked or practically shouted. Sanji got irritated by this but decided to ignore his idiotic captain.

"Meat...Meat...Meat" Luffy kept whining for meat because his request got ignored.

"SHUT UP. SHITTY CAPTAIN" Sanji kicked him in the face but Luffy dodged it somehow. Glaring at him, Sanji grunted then turned his attention back to the cooking, completely ignoring Luffy's whining.

Luffy frowned seeing the cook reaction. "Hey, Sanji what are you doing?" Luffy asked cheerfully, trying to attract Sanji attention.

Sanji turned to Luffy, irked a bit. "I chopped human meat to serving it as a dinner for you later." He answered with a hint of sarcasm with a sadist smile. He raised his knife to Luffy which accidentally had a bit of blood in it.

Luffy gulped seeing that but then he remembered about the sarcasm Zoro had just mentioned earlier.

_"Oh, Sanji must use "Sarcasm" just like Zoro did_." Luffy grinned realising this but soon a frown appeared on his face

_"So, Sanji lied about the human meat. But it is not funny at all. How can Sanji made a bad joke about food." _Luffy thought deeply as he pouted at his thought. Feeling a bit angry he decided to leave the kitchen.

Peeking from the corner of his eyes, Sanji got a little confused by his captain action. He usually needed at least ten kicks to chase Luffy out from the kitchen. "Well. At least, I can cook quietly" He smiled to himself.

Outside the kitchen, Luffy walked with a disappointed look. He saw Chopper and Usopp again still busy with their own work. The straw hat captain sighed in depression

Usopp who saw Luffy's disappointed face got a little worried. So, he called him over and asked.

"Hey, Luffy, What's wrong, Sanji kicked you out from the kitchen again?"

Luffy opened his mouth. He wanted to answer Usopp question that Sanji made a terrible joke at food. But he stopped his mouth quickly from answering. He could make this more interesting. Luffy thought, smirking to himself.

"Sanji said he prepared human meat for our dinner later." Luffy said innocently waiting for their response with a straight face. Noticing the horrified look on Usopp and Chopper face, he showed a small smirk. Well, technically he didn't lie right? Sanji did say so.

Usopp and Chopper mouth gaped hearing this news. Their eyes widened and both of their face became pale. Chopper was the first one to react. He was running around panicked while screaming a-cannibal-monster.

Meanwhile, Usopp didn't move from his spot at all. Trying to process the information he got as he tried to analyze it. _There was no way Sanji would do that right?_ He asked to himself nervously.

Sanji wouldn't let everyone especially Nami and robin to eat human meat. Usopp tried to convince himself. But suddenly he remembered earlier, Sanji complained that they need to restock their food thanks to their stupid captain. Usopp gulped at this memory. Maybe Sanji thought it was better to serve them human meat than letting them starve. After all Sanji had already experienced how bad starvation was.

Usopp sweated from his thought. He looked at Luffy who stood there completely calm unaffected by what he had just say. Seeing this Usopp blinked he was having a thought that Luffy wouldn't mind eating human meat as long he could eat his food and Usopp had known Luffy never lie and he was suck at it. Usopp glanced at Luffy once again who had an innocent smile in his face asking what was wrong with them.

Usopp answer was a loud scream and soon he joined Chopper who was still running around blubbering about a cannibal cook.

* * *

Nami was busy making a map in her room. It was a perfect time to do that. The sky was clear and the weather was good enough. So she could relax a little bit and made a new map in her room.

"Yep, I can finish this in two hours." she smiled proudly then she started to work with a smile in her face. After a few minutes passed, her smile disappeared replaced with a deep scowl after hearing a sound of screams echoed to her room, making her lost concentration on her map.

"They better had a good reason for this." she slammed her door, heading towards outside.

Usopp and Chopper stopped their scream after hearing a loud sound from the slammed door. They turned around and faced with an angry and pissed Nami. Then they started running again but this time mumbled about an evil witch appeared.

Nami got angrier seeing this. She dashed towards them, grabbing each of their heads and smacking them against each other for good. She smirked evilly looking at Chopper and Usopp who got knocked out by her. A large bump appeared on their heads.

Nami stared at Chopper who had already fainted then he looked at Usopp who was now shivering in fear.

"What was that thing you yelled about?" Nami asked out of curiosity.

Usopp blinked hearing that question then he remembered about the human meat news earlier. Usopp suddenly screamed, passing out in front of her. Nami raised her eyebrow at his weird behaviour as she didn't quite understand what happened.

"Yo, what's up, Nami?" Nami turned around to find Luffy walked towards her, humming slightly.

"Luffy. Do you know what's wrong with them?" She pointed at the fainted Usopp and Chopper.

Luffy eyes widened looking at the scene in front of him then he looked at Nami face. "OH MY GOD Nami. You killed Usopp and Chopper. How could you." He stared unbelievable at the crime scene in front of him.

Nami groaned_. Great, another idiot again._"No, Luffy. They are only fainted." She explained briefly.

"Really, thank goodness." Luffy sighed in relief. "I thought you killed them because they steal your papers." Laughed him.

"Excuse me, my paper? Nami raised her eyebrow at Luffy statement.

"Eh, you didn't know. Yesterday Usopp and Chopper had a drawing contest but they didn't have enough paper. So they secretly borrowed it from you." Luffy explained not feeling bothered by the dark aura that appeared from Nami's body.

_That explains the missing paper in my table._ Nami scoffed angrily maybe she should kill both of them for real. She glared at the fainted Usopp and Chopper.

"Oh. I joined them too. It was so much fun, playing as a thief. "Luffy added smiling enthusiastically.

_Another person to kill._ Nami thought darkly.

"Hey...Nami" Luffy called her, waving his hand on her face thinking she was spacing out.

Well, maybe she could forgive them this time. Her map was her first priority after all. She sighed. "Luffy, do you know what's wrong with them? They acted a bit funny earlier" She asked him once again

"Chopper and Usopp?" Luffy blinked. "Oh. They started to run and scream when I told them Sanji cooked a human meat for dinner. "

"I see. So you told them Sanji cooked human meat." Nami replied with a calm face. "YOU TOLD THEM WHAT?" She shrieked loudly.

"That Sanji cooked human meat for dinner?" Luffy tilted his head.

Nami stared at Luffy, judging from Luffy expression he was saying the truth. Meaning Sanji had lied to her.

_Oh Sanji was going to pay her a lot because he indirectly disturbed her making a map._ The orange haired navigator scowled as she imagined she would have already finished her map if this chaos didn't happened.

She walked to the kitchen, dragging Luffy with her then she slammed the door with full force

Hearing the door slammed, Sanji scowled thinking it was Luffy who disturbed him again. But as soon he realized that it was Nami. He smiled and danced around.

"Nami-swan. Is there anything you want?" Sanji starred lovingly at her. He looked closely and then realized that Luffy was behind her. The scowl in Sanji face returned.

"Luffy, what the heck are y-" he didn't finish his question as Nami slammed the table with her hand making a loud sound.

"Sanji, what did you say to Luffy earlier?" Nami glared at Sanji who startled a bit by her reaction.

Confuse of what happened, Sanji blinked feeling the situation was a bit odd. He rarely saw Nami angry at him. She was usually angry at trio idiot Luffy, Chopper and Usopp or usually at the moss head.

"Nami-swan, I didn't say anything to that damn shitty captain. But if you want I can say how much I love you, Nami-swan." Sanji replied with an eyes shaped love as he stared at her.

Nami growled at his answer. She looked at Sanji then to Luffy "Luffy tell him what he said to you earlier." She ordered him with an authority tone.

"Well, you said that you are cooking human meat as our dinner." Luffy pouted then he quickly showed his usual goofy smile when Sanji glared at him.

"Because you said that" Nami tone suddenly got changed as it went scarier by the second. "Usopp and Chopper screamed around making me lost focus on my map." She said it with a low dangerous voice.

Sanji gulped he didn't like Nami swan angry especially at him. "Damn shitty rubber man" Sanji muttered darkly. "No, Nami swan. It was only sarcasm. I am sure Luffy understand it, right Luffy?" Sanji and Nami looked at their captain. One with angry eyes and one with hopeful eyes.

Looking at the two pair of eyes that stared at him. He blinked, tilting his head at one side He smiled. "What's salkam?, a new type of meat? Can I eat it?"

Sanji groaned listening to his stupid answer, he muttered under his breath "Idiotic brainless captain."

While Sanji was busy muttering his insult to Luffy. Nami decided to judge at the current situation. she looked at Luffy smiling face then she looked back at Sanji, Taking a deep breath she started yelling at the cook that he should had known that Luffy was stupid enough to believe his sarcasm.

Not wanting to get involve in fight, Luffy sneaked away from the kitchen fast with smirk plastered all over his face.

* * *

Later at dinner, Sanji appeared with a bruised face earning a snicker from Zoro. "Nice look, dartboard." Zoro commented with a smirk "It suits you better"

Sanji glared at Zoro but didn't try to kick him like usual. He didn't want Nami-swan to become angrier.

When dinner was served. Sanji occasionally threw a dirty look at Luffy who he obviously didn't realize it at all. Chopper and Usopp didn't touch their foods instead they eyed it nervously, making Luffy had a chance to steal their food.

* * *

**End of chapter 3**


	4. chocolate

**Stupid Act**

**By : Crimson Heart Fairy**

Summary : After Luffy heard an explanation about Valentine day from Usopp. Luffy assumed it was an eat-a-chocolate day. So, he began to ask each one of his nakama to make him chocolate. But the reaction he got from his nakama was either they ran away or kicked him. What will Luffy do to get chocolate from his nakama and who will give him chocolate in the end?. Read to find out. Nakamaship

**Luffy X Zoro a bit of Luffy X Usopp, Nakamaship.**

**Read and Review**

* * *

"Valentine day, what's that?" Luffy asked looking confused after he heard Sanji shouted happy valentine day to Nami and Robin while giving them both a delicious chocolate cake.

"You don't know what valentine day is, Luffy?" Usopp raised his eyebrow at his captain. Not feeling surprise of Luff'sy lack of knowledge. It was Luffy after all. "Alright then, I am the great captain Usopp will explain that to you." Usopp smiled proudly.

Luffy got excited hearing that. "Yes, a new story " Luffy thought. He sat quietly waiting Usopp to start.

"So, valentine day is... "

After Usopp finished his explanation. Luffy blinked processing the new information he had just heard. Why did he didn't know this awesome day before. Luffy eyes sparkled with excitement.

"So I can eat chocolate as much as I want" Luffy asked with drools coming from his mouth.

"Well, yeah. As long as someone gave it to you" Usopp answered.

"Can I receive meat instead?" Luffy asked. He looked at Usopp with hopeful look.

Usopp groaned "Typical Luffy" he thought. "No, you can't. It has to be chocolate." Usopp said firmly.

"Oh I see" Luffy felt disappointed hearing that but soon he smiled again, giggling a bit. "Well, that's fine. I like chocolate too. Can you give me one Usopp?" Luffy asked happily.

"No. You had to give chocolate to someone you like. So I can't give it to you."

"Eh. You don't like me, Usopp?" Luffy pouted.

Hearing that Usopp got a bit shock but soon he calmed down. Luffy obviously meant he like him as nakama. Usopp was really sure about it.

"Yes-No .Mmm. You see what I mean was" Usopp groaned. Confused how he should explain that matter to someone like Luffy. Before Usopp figured what to say. Luffy had already talked.

"What a pity. I like you, though." Luffy grinned not noticing the weird look Usopp gave him. Usopp sighed. This could cause a big misunderstanding if someone else heard their conversation. Usopp heard a snicker from behind. He looked back and found Zoro smirked at him. Usopp sweated nervously. He got to go away from Luffy quickly as possible.

"You see. I need to help franky now. See you later" Usopp dashed, leaving a confused Luffy behind. Zoro laughed a little seeing that scene.

Luffy huffed. He felt disappointed that he didn't get chocolate. Luffy looked around him, He saw Sanji who was now bringing drinks to Robin and Nami. Luffy mouth slowly formed a huge grin. That's right Sanji was a cook after all, he can make him chocolate.

Luffy suddenly leapt to them, screaming the cook name.

"SAAANNNJIIIII" Luffy landed safely near Sanji. But before he said anything Sanji had already kicked him in the stomach.

"Hey. What was that for."Luffy groaned in pain. He rubbed his no- bruised stomach.

"It's your fault shitty rubber man" Sanji huffed angrily. "How dare you disturbed Nami-swan and Robin-swan break time" Sanji raised his leg ready to kick Luffy again.

"Nah, it's fine Sanji-kun. Luffy didn't mean anything harm". Nami said sweetly to stopped Sanji while Robin just chuckled.

"Anything for you Nami-swan. " Sanji stopped to kick Luffy and turned to Nami with a smile that Zoro labeled as "Creepy pervert smile." Zoro rolled his eyes seeing Sanji's reaction. "Stupid ero-cook" mumbled Zoro. "I heard that, shitty marimo. " Sanji shouted at Zoro.

After recovered from Sanji's kick Luffy stood up again. Looking back at Sanji "Hey Sanji, can you give me a ch-"

"No". Sanji answered fast as if he could read Luffy's mind.

"Eh. Why not? You are the cook, aren't you?" Luffy sulked, pouting like a child.

"I only give chocolates to WOMENS in valentine day" Sanji emphasized the word women. Then he walked into the kitchen ignoring Luffy whining.

After he saw Sanji disappeared into the kitchen Luffy turned his attention to Nami and Robin.

"NAAMIII" Luffy whined.

"50000 berry for one chocolate." Nami smirked evilly. Feeling a bit desperate, Luffy looked at robin.

"Robin?"

"Sorry Senchou-san, I have something to do later." Robin answered, she stared at Luffy who looked disappointed. Seeing that kind of look in his face, making Robin a bit of guilty. "But I think you can ask the swordsman-san. It seems he has nothing to do" Robin made a suggestion to Luffy.

Luffy blinked "Zoro?" He looked around to find Zoro. He saw Zoro leaned at the rails looking relaxed. Luffy's face got brighten a bit. "You're right. That's a great idea. Thanks Robin "Luffy smiled, running towards Zoro. Robin smiled looking at Luffy who dashed towards Zoro.

Zoro leaned at the rails on Sunny, feeling the breeze of the wind in his face and a warm sunlight His eyes got heavier. He decided that a little nap wouldn't hurt. Without him knowing, Luffy appeared beside him, shouting his name in his left ear.

"ZOOROOOO" Zoro jumped up hearing his shout. Unconsciously he grabbed his swords. When he realized it was only Luffy who disturbed him he sighed. He growled annoyed at him.

"Zorooo" Luffy continued to call him.

"What, Luffy?" Zoro responded thinking what kind of trouble he would face this time.

"Make me a chocolate." Luffy answered with a wide smile.

"No"' Zoro answered fast without thinking.

"Why not?" Luffy pouted. Feeling rejected.

"I can't cook "Zoro said shortly.

Luffy tilted his head to one side. Then he grinned "That's fine. I'll eat it even it tastes bad. It is valentine day after all." Luffy said with innocent face. Cearly, he assumed that valentine day was an eat-a-chocolate day.

Zoro groaned "Damn Usopp and his stupid story" Zoro muttered quietly." No, I don't want to." Zoro said irritated.

Hearing this, Luffy frowned. He was feeling sad and frustrated. It was already the fourth time everyone refused to give him chocolate. "You can't?" Luffy asked with a sad look in his face.

Seeing Luffy expression changed. Zoro sighed now he felt bad towards Luffy but still Zoro had to refuse him. Zoro couldn't make a damn chocolate. Heck, he didn't even like it in the first place. It was too damn sweet for his taste.

"Zoro?" Luffy suddenly called him, thinking that Zoro was spacing out. Zoro looked back to Luffy. He frowned seeing Luffy's face. Even though Luffy eyes showed like he wanted to cry Zoro still had to refuse him. Zoro made up his mind.

"Luffy, I can't ma-"

"You can't make chocolate for me?" Luffy eyes widened. His eyes looked like ready to burst into tears anytime.

"No, I mean I -" Zoro felt a bit flustered he didn't like to deal with a crying Luffy.

"So, Zoro can." Luffy face suddenly brightened. His face changed to a happy one.

Zoro blinked. "What. No. What I am trying to say is-" Zoro stopped his voice as soon he saw Luffy puppy eyes. His eyes sparkled and Luffy smiled with the biggest smile Zoro ever seen today. Zoro gulped. He didn't know if he could do this.

"Ne, Zoro can make me chocolate, right?" Luffy asked cheerfully.

...

"Hey, Zorooo. You can, right?"

...

…..

…

Chopper walked to the deck. He wanted to go to the library to read a new medicine book that he was just bought.

Chopper hummed slowly. He stopped his walk when He saw Luffy sitting on the deck quietly while holding a cup. Out of curiosity, Chopper called Luffy to ask him.

"Hey Luffy what's that? " Chopper pointed at the cup. Luffy raised his eyebrow hearing Chopper random question. His eyes travelled to the thing Chopper pointed at. "Ah. You mean this." Luffy raised his cup. "This is a hot chocolate that Zoro made for me earlier." Luffy smiled, drinking his hot chocolate happily.

* * *

**The End.**

**Sorry if sanji was more violent than usual, because I think when valentine day, He more overprotective at women**

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	5. Sex education

Thank you for the reviews and everyone who follow and favourite this story

Disclaimer :I do not own One Piece

Talking

_Thinking_

**Chapter 5 : Sex Education**

"What is making love?"

Hearing this sudden question came out from their captain, Everyone else in the dining room choked on their food at the same time except for Chopper who was just blinking didn't understand the words that Luffy asked either.

this few words thrown the kitchen who was peaceful a few minutes ago fell into a chaotic state. Usopp choked as he hold his throat, muttering the words water desperately. Franky groaned in pain after biting his own tongue. Zoro and Sanji burst out their drinks, for Zoro It was booze. Brook just laughed then saying his usual skull joke while Nami and Robin just froze on their seat

A sound of chair kicked made all of them snapped their mind and thankfully back to their sense. Almost everyone looked at the source of the sound who kind of saved them from the big shock they received. Sanji being looked at by his nakama eyes just raised his eyebrow at them.

"I'll bring the water" He spoke after glanced at Usopp face that almost turned blue, leaving them and headed to the kitchen. Recovering a bit from the shock she had. Nami now stared at Luffy who was looking confused with his nakama reaction but despite of that still managed to stuff food into his mouth. Seeing this Nami eyes twitched she took a deep breath then opened her mouth and carefully asked him

"Luffy, why do you want to know?"

"Oh, I saw Sanji reading a book earlier. It had a weird title though.." Luffy answered thinking for a little bit before he continued " I gues it said ways making love with your mmm, well i gues the tittle is omething like that " he smiled innocently. "But I didn't get it why it had a nude women and men in the cover." he tilted his head, a confuse expression could be seen clearly in his face.

Hearing this Nami glared hard at Sanji who was just came back from the kitchen holding a tray of drinks. Obviously Sanji didn't hear what Luffy had just said because he grinned smiling back at Nami, thinking that Nami-swan missed him and welcomed him back lovingly to a dining table.

Seeing how his eyes changed to a heart shaped eyes Nami rolled her eyes. He really didn't grasp the situation at all,is he?. she groaned. Her head slumped at the table. Now, what should she do then? Luffy was a bit stubborn when he became curious of something. Beside sooner or later he has to know about that matter. Seeing the desperate look in Nami face, Usopp took the initiative. And took a control as he opened his mouth to start explain.

"Well, you see. Luffy. I am the great almighty Usopp-sama will explain that to you"

Luffy mouth cracked a smile, he Sat quietly waiting for Usopp to start

"So, Making love is when women and men sleep in the same bed then they-"

"So, Zoro and Sanji have made love then" Luffy suddenly talked, interrupted Usopp speech. He grinned widely as if he had already understand the meaning of that.

Hearing the words that came out from Luffy mouth, Zoro spitted out his drinks and Sanji dropped his glasses, making it crashed on the floor . His mouth gaped as his eyes got bigger. While Zoro face became white.

Everyone else in the room suddenly got silent. They glanced slowly at Zoro and Sanji with an awkward then stared at Sanji and Zoro with a weird look in their face.

"Oh my god I can't believe it" Usopp showed a horrified face.

"Somehow I know this will happen sooner or later" Nami said with a calm face and Robin nodded at her statement.

"I cheered for both of you." Franky cried, mumbling about a young love.

"HooHoooHo" Brook hold his stomach, he couldn't stop his laughter as he kept rolling on the floor.

Sanji and Zoro face became pale as white seeing their nakama reaction one by one. They looked at Chopper and made a relief expression when both of them saw the young reindeer only stood silent with a blank face as if he didn't understand.

"So, Zoro and Sanji are mating?" Chopper suddenly asked innocently, tilting his head to the other side.

Zoro replied was only a silent answer as his eyes widened then he sent a sinister glare to chopper that made him ducked into the corner, feeling this situation became more ridiculous for him , an angry and annoyed look written all over his face.

Sanji quite the opposite of Zoro as his reaction was only froze without blinking before he Suddenly shrieked and screamed loudly.

"Stop your girly scream, shitty-cook" Zoro growled at him.

"Shut up you, shitty marimo. Sanji scowled at him then pointed his finger "You could at least help me explaining."

"And you" Sanji turned around glaring at Luffy

"Me?"Luffy blinked, pointing at himself

"How the heck you ended up with this ?" Sanji huffed angrily as he asked Luffy with accusingly tone.

"Well, Usopp said making love is when a man and a women sleep together. So, that's means you and Sanji have already making love." Luffy answered with a bright smile. "Wait a second that's mean we all have already making love together" he frowned after he drew his conclusion. Tilting his head confused he crossed his hands thinking deeply ignoring how Everyone else groaned hearing his statement.

"See, you guys should have known not to believe Luffy stupid words " Zoro grunted eyeing his nakama one by one.

"But it is very believable, thought" Nami confessed, earning a glare from Zoro and a loud shout of NO from Sanji.

Looking around Nami scanned the dinning room and realized that Robin, Franky, Chopper and Brook had already mysteriously disappeared from here.

"Traitor" she muttered darkly as she thought the mess she had to clean up because Luffy simple yet hard question.

She stared at Luffy who was eating happily. Maybe if I leave him now, he will forget about his stupid question and move on. she thought positively and got up from her seat trying to sneak out of the room heading towards the door. she should be succeed this task if a voice didn't called her names making her squeaked.

"Eh...Nami where are you going?. i thought you will tell me what making love is" Luffy pouted.

Nami twitched hearing the tone Luffy used when he said that. It was the same tone Luffy always used whenever he asked her to do something that she thought stupid and Nami knew he would bug her about it all fay even when she slept. feeling defeated Nami sighed.

Scanning the whole room Nami looked at Usopp who was still trying to eat despite everything Then she looked at Zoro who was drinking his booze in one gulp as if he trying to forget what happened and lastly her eyes fell at Sanji who was smoking his third cigarette with frustrated look. she looked at all of them with a Judge look then she smirked as her eyes landed on Zoro.

"Zoro, you tell him." She ordered him with a bossy tone.

"What. No way" Zoro replied fast. putting down his glass he sent her a glare that questioned why me?

"You are the first mate." Nami answered shortly like it was the answer of everything.

frowning Zoro took another gulp then replied "No. this is a stupid thing to-"

"Because apparently you got a debt you have to pay "Nami responded interrupted Zoro speech. she grinned with victory, seeing how Zoro huffed angrily and cursed at her.

"Zoro, want to explain to me?" Luffy face brightened, smiling excitedly. He faced him waited patiently for Zoro to start.

"So, you see. Making love is when the guy's d**k entered woman-"

with a swift motion Nami smacked Zorro's head before he even finished his speech.

"I feel like I don't feel like eating anymore" Usopp mumbled from a far, putting his spoon and fork on the table.

"What do you think you are doing, women?" Zoro said irritated. He turned around only to find a scary-looking Nami glared at him.

"Watch. Your. Language" she said with a threatening voice while giving Zoro a death glare thought Zoro ignored her and instead he told her it was her fault in the first place to ask him. "Evil witch" He muttered under his breath.

"Moss head . What did you say about Nami-swan? Sanji turned to Zoro, ready to kick him any minute.

"Only the truth" Zoro answered nonchalantly, dodging Sanji kick. They fought a little while until Nami shouted stop at both of them.

"I should have known this from the start" Nami scowled, glancing towards Zoro with an irritate look.

"What. Luffy isn't a kid anymore he is adult alrea-" Zoro starred at Luffy who was still eating his food When Luffy realized someone staring at him He stopped his eating and looked up to Zoro, grinning and waving at him. Seeing this, Zoro lost his word.

Nami then turned his attention to Usopp, she smirked evilly But before she said anything to him Usopp had already dashed towards the door muttering he had something else to do.

"Hey, don't ignore me" Luffy pouted. "What is making love?" he asked once again. a curiosity written all over his face.

Nami raised her eyebrow then She turned to Sanji. "You caused this. So, you're telling him"

"Eh. Me. but I don't want t-"

"Sanji-kun,Please?" Nami said sweetly, presenting him her best smile.

"Yes, Nami swan. I will" Sanji replied fast, spinning and dancing around. Zoro rolled his eyes seeing his reaction.

"So, Luffy" Sanji stopped dancing. He looked at Luffy with a serious look in his face. But out all of sudden his face changed to a happy one. He started to explain it with dreamy eyes and a love shaped eyes "Making love is when there is beautiful women right in front of you. You kissed her, you kiss her stripping her and you touched her-"

Nami smacked Sanji right at the head as she glared at him murderously.

"You don't have to explain it in details" Nami huffed, her face blushed a little.

Zoro snickered "As expected of ero-cook" he commented with mocking tone, earning a kick from the cook.

"I shouldn't leave this matter to idiots from the first place" Nami scoffed, looking at them fighting in the corner, shouting insult to each other.

"Alright then. Luffy. Come here" Nami called him asking him to sit in front of her

Luffy obediently followed her order. Sitting quietly in the floor. He looked up to Nami who was sitting in the chair in front of him, crossing her legs, luckily for her. She didn't wear a skirt so Luffy couldn't see her underwear .Well, it's not like he interested in that kind of thing. Nami shrugged.

She stared at Luffy."You want to know what making love is, right? "Nami asked like a professional teacher.

"Yes" Luffy nodded excitedly.

"So, sit quietly and listen " She took a deep breath and started to explain. So, it started. The longest hour in Nami history as she explaining what making love was to Luffy. Although sometimes she had to stop talking to yell at Sanji and Zoro to stop their fight and soon she got pissed and kicked them outside. While Nami was explaining Luffy was sitting quietly like a good kid

"So." she looked at Luffy with a proud expression felling satisfied with the way she explained it to him "he owes me 100000 beli" she thought darkly

"You understand it, right?" she slowly asked him. She didn't know what she would do if Luffy still didn't understand either.

Luffy blinked. Looking straightly at her face, tilting his head and pouting "You should just have told me it was sex in the first place"

**end of chapter 5**


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